Unless they came clean to you on their own then there’s always a good chance that he or she may still be using heroin, each and every day. And in this article, I will refer to he or she as a he, as this is the case more often than not. But the same applies to her as well.
And if you caught your daughter, girlfriend, or wife, smoking, snorting or shooting heroin then chances are she wasn’t ready to come clean and quit this drug yet. If you caught your son, boyfriend, or husband, smoking, snorting or shooting heroin then chances are he wasn’t ready to quit this drug quite yet.
That doesn’t mean that they can’t be helped. Chances are they can be helped since many addicts want to quit but simply don’t know how or where to go for help. They fear the pain and agony of the heroin withdrawalsas well. And since you’re the only one there for him then it’s up to you to do your best to help this person while you still can, and of course, if they want your help as well.
You might just be the only hope they have left. So if you haven’t done so already, then go ahead and read the article, “How to Help Your Man Quit Heroin”. And if you’re a parent trying to help your child then please read my article, “How to Help Your Son or Daughter Quit Heroin”. Once you’ve read it, do what the article tells you to do and then just hope for the best.
He or she may seem cooperative at first and may agree with everything you say. And if he’s sincere then great! Wonderful! He’ll do it. He’ll do his best to quit this thing and turn his life around. Yet he or she may also be acting in order to keep the peace, regain your confidence and yet continue to use heroin in secret.
If you’ve done all you can, then all you can do now is wait and see what happens next. It’s all up to them. It’s up to him or her to stay clean and turn their life around. And in the mean time, continue to encourage them to stay clean and move forward.
The best results I keep seeing come from scenarios where the wives, girlfriends or parents of the addict some how manage to get their partners or children to read the articles on my website, yet without forcing them to do so.
If you’re living with your partner or child then one of the best things that you can do for them is to print out the articles on this website, bind them together nice and neat, and place them somewhere where you know they’ll see them for sure. Then before you leave, tell him, “I printed out these articles for you. I’ll leave them right here just in case you’d like to read them”. That’s it. Then smile and leave it at that. Hopefully he or she will read them on their own.
If he decided to quit heroin warm turkey, with Suboxone or Methadone, then he might stay home. But if you decided that he was going to quit heroin cold turkey then chances are he’s just waiting for you to leave so he can get dressed, go out and get his fix. Unless of course, he chose to quit heroin cold turkey on his own. Then there would be much more hope for him to succeed than if he were doing this just for you.
If he can come to read my articles ‘on his own’ then it’s quite possible that the articles can begin to motivate and inspire him as well, not only to quit heroin but to also turn his life around. It happens. And it happens quite often as well.
I receive emails from guys and girls who felt hopeless at first. They were completely lost. But then after reading the articles on my website, something clicked. It woke them up and gave them strength. It gave them hope for a second chance at life. It motivated them to put their foot down, quit heroin and turn their lives around. And till this day, I still find it amazing how words can move people to take action in their lives and change.
If you can somehow, get them to read the articles on this website without forcing them to do so then there’s a good chance that the same can happen to your partner, your son or daughter.
Nevertheless, I still feel sorry for those who try their best to help their children, their partners and loved ones to quit heroin and end up being deceived and lied to, day after day after day.
Don’t give up hope yet. But at the same time, you can’t allow this to continue or else all of your efforts will become a waste of time and energy. And the end result will be heartbreak and total disappointment. If they truly want to quit, then he or she will do their best to quit this heroin habit once and for all. Even if he fails on his 1st, 2nd or 3rd attempt, an honest man will come clean and ask for forgiveness, and for help. And as long as he or she continues to be honest with you then you can continue to help them in any way that you can.
There’s still much hope for the dishonest person who becomes honest, comes clean and reaches out for help. But there is no hope for the dishonest person who remains dishonest without change or remorse. And if they keep using and lying repeatedly, then you may have to step back and begin to pull away; otherwise, nothing may change.
How do you know if he’s still using or quitting heroin?
How do you know if a Hollywood actor is acting or telling the truth?
You don’t – unless of course you know the script. It’s difficult to tell when a heroin addict is acting, lying or being sincere. Sometimes it’s almost impossible to tell the difference. Yet, there are indicators which can help you to know if he’s still using heroin or not. There are signs to watch for and symptoms to observe to see if he’s actually trying to quit heroin or trying to deceive you and continue to use.
The chances of someone faking any of these symptoms are slim. But again, heroin turns addicts into Hollywood actors. And if they’re not ready to quit then they’ll do whatever it takes to keep the peace within the home and keep on using through the means of deception.
Yet, if observing signs of withdrawal becomes a bit too much for you to handle then you can always watch and observe his daily behavior patterns as well. Because if he’s truly quitting heroin then his lifestyle is going to change, in one form or another.
If he’s trying to quit heroin then his daily routine is going to change. He won’t be going out as often as he used to. He won’t be hanging around his old friends. If he’s not at work, then he’ll be home, for the most part, all of the time. He won’t be telling you detailed stories like he may have been doing before. He won’t be asking for money any more as well. His old habits and behavior will disappear, (if he’s truly quitting heroin).
If he’s truly quitting heroin, then eventually, ‘he will come to life’ and his appearance and personality will begin to shine – slowly but surely.
If he’s truly quitting heroin cold turkey, warm turkey or even with subs, then everything should be changing. And everything will continue to change, slowly but surely. So don’t worry. Everything will come to light sooner or later.
Lies, lies and more lies
Unfortunately, deception and manipulation becomes first nature for most heroin addicts. And one characteristic which many heroin addicts have in common is lying. If he doesn’t have a job, or spends his pay check on dope, then there’s a good chance that he’ll be living a life of lies, telling you different stories day after day in order to get more money for dope (heroin).
Some common lies and stories used by heroin addicts are as follows:
“I need money to pay off my dealer or else he’s gonna to kill me.”
Many heroin addicts use this lie quite often, especially after their parents became aware of the fact that their child had a problem with drugs.
They’ll come right up and tell you, “I need money, now”. And when you ask them what for, they’ll say; “I have to pay the dope man (dealer) (or someone), or else he’s gonna kill me.”
And unfortunately, parents will give into this lie more often than not. That’s why this lie is used over and over again. And if the parents don’t give in on the first or second try then the addict may have one of his or her friends call them on their cell phone right when they’re in front of their parents and have that friend pretend to be the dope man calling and demanding his money or else. The timing will always be perfect.
Many heroin addicts/Hollywood actors will play the role very well and may even shed some tears. He might not even use a friend. He might just make his cell phone ring on its own, pick it up and play the role. The end result is the parent is out anywhere from $20 to $100 or more, and the child has gone out to buy some dope.
Another common lie used by many heroin addicts will be:
“I have to pay a court fine or else they’re gonna put me in jail.”
Many heroin addicts have use this lie if they have a source for money and/or have no money of their own. They’ll add details with various costs, taxes and even produce a convincing invoice printed out on paper. They’ll even have you drop them off right in front of the court house to pay the fine. But once you leave, their off to the dope spot.
“I have to pay for this ticket or else they’ll suspend my license and put me in jail.” This is another lie which is used and detailed in the same manner as above.
Court fines, probation fees and traffic tickets all fall under the same category of lies: “I need to pay this, or else they’re going to put me in jail”. Don’t fall for it. It’s a lie. And even if it was true, it’s not your problem anyway. It’s not your responsibility to pay for his or her mistakes, whether it’s true or false. But most likely, it’s a lie.
If they leave the impression that they do want to quit but are just having a hard time doing so, then they may also use any of the following lies repeatedly.
“I have to go visit the doctor to see if he can help me. I need $60 cash for the consultation (and he has to go alone)”. If he has medical insurance then he may explain to you that he can’t put that type of doctors’ visit on his insurance card because his insurance won’t cover it.
They’ll try to leave the impression that they do want to quit and are doing their part to get professional help, yet at your expense. They’ll return home with a ‘detailed story’ from the doctors’ visit and assure you that everything will be ok.
But what they really did was buy drugs instead. And as long as you keep giving in and giving them money, then he’ll keep using this lie over and over again.
Then, he’ll use the next lie: “I need $40. I have to buy $40 worth of methadone (or suboxone)”. He’ll appear sick as if he was dying and then after you’ve given him the $40, he’ll go out and buy his dope bags. And on the way home, he’ll make his own juice with a weird taste and tell you that it’s methadone. You won’t know the difference.
Then he’ll use the same lie again, but this time for suboxone instead of methadone. “I need money. I’m sick. I’m trying to quit heroin so I have to buy suboxone tablets”. Then he’ll come home with some type of tablets that you’ve never seen before and swallow them right in front of you in order to have you believe that the money you gave him was spent on suboxone tablets.
He may even have you take him to the dope spot to buy the tablets, (although he’ll already had them in his pocket). But what he’ll actually buy will be a bag of dope instead. He’ll take the tablets out of his pocket and swallow them right in front of you to complete his act of deception. Then once he gets home, he’ll do his bag and fade away. He may even buy real suboxone tablets along with the heroin as well. Anything is possible when it comes to heroin. And the lies can go on and on and on.
He’ll add many details to his stories and even produce computer printed documents for proof. He’ll do anything to add to his credibility. And if it works well, then he’ll use it over and over again with a bit of variation each time.
He may even go as far as to sabotage your car by pulling cords, or loosening a spark plug and then tell you not to worry, he’s going to fix your car for you. Then he’ll ask you for the money to buy the parts to get it fixed. And he may go out an actually buy the part and then return it later to get the money back in order to buy his dope bag.
He may even have one of his dope friends come over, pretend to be a mechanic and fix the car Hollywood style. Then you’ll have to pay him and they’ll both end up getting high on your hard earned money.
This may all sound crazy and far fetched, but it happens all the time. And it happens more often than not with those who are still living within the home.
And if your son or daughter is living in another city or another state then he or she may ask you for money for rent, or else they’re going to be evicted. Children living away from home use this lie all the time. They’ll call you, crying, telling you that if they don’t have the rest of the rent money by tomorrow then they’re going to be evicted and thrown out in the street. Don’t fall for it. It’s a lie! And if it is true then great!
The sooner they hit rock bottom then the sooner they can wake up, quit heroin, and turn their lives around. And hitting rock bottom may be their only hope left.